So I faced the scale this morning after a weekend of shameless indulgence, and while I've gained two pounds I was merely relieved not to see 200 flashing back at me again. Though 197 is not, of course, a far stretch.
Busy day today, got to pay a speeding ticket and buy my textbooks, cash my last check from work and attend 5 hours of class so at least I won't be hanging around in the kitchen, bored. But I'm hoping to get in some work out time tonight at least on the treadmill and probably some ab work too. I'm really interested in picking up yoga but I don't quite know how to go about it.
Weight loss is not coming easily for me. I can't shake the pounds lately but maybe that's because I'm not putting my all into it. So, as I sit here this morning (afternoon--slept late) eating my grapefruit with 2 packs of splenda and drinking my ice water, I reflect on what motivates me. I never buy magazines but I bought the January issue of People, I think it was, a couple of weeks ago. There were women on the cover who had lost half their size and looked hot! Now I don't need to lose half my size or even a hundred pounds but I know if they can do it I can do it.
I want to be able to wear/fit into all the clothes in my closet. I remember, at my lowest weight, I had pants that would fall right off my ass. Those pants are a little snug now. And I remember, at that low weight, thinking about how I would never, never gain it back. Of course, given that I lost the weight unhealthily, I had no means of maintaining it once I got off the drugs, but having that to look back on now is definitely a motivator.
I'm trying to reassess my relationship with food so that I don't derive any excess pleasure from eating so this morning, what I have to look forward to includes a rare copy of The Hobbit that just arrived with all the original illustrations and does not include cake or quesadillas...
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